🟢 Detaching from results

Massive failures but moving forward with what's in my control

(2.5 min read)

In honor of my grandpa, who discovered many habits that worked for him (such as swimming laps, lifting weights, and counting out how many lima beans he’d eat).

At the beginning of 2024, I dreamed of attracting 10,000 subscribers by the end of the year.

I’d heard great success stories of Substack and exponential growth (supposedly achieved by certain authors because of its “recommendation engine”) and thought “If I don’t try, I’ll regret it.”

Now I’m not sure I’ll even reach 800.

Growth has definitely not been exponential.

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Plus, my open rates are only ~25% instead of the 80% I expected.

Many of the posts I’ve written have taken me 1 hour to write per every minute that they take someone to read (60x difference!).

And that’s only even relevant for the small fraction of <25% who open the email and actually read every paragraph.

In other words, if I were wearing the hat of a scientist or businessperson, this experiment would ben an extraordinary failure, and I should have quit long ago.

Why do I continue?

Before I answer that…

I should also mention that I don’t yet feel that this newsletter deserves more attentive readers.

So I’m not complaining.

And not all that surprised.

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By the way, at the beginning of this year, I’d also set out to start an info product business that could profit $200k/year with only 20 hours of work per week.

And I did not make great progress towards that.

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The main reason I continue is honestly out of stubbornness.

At the beginning of the year I declared I’d write 2 posts per week for a whole year because I was curious enough about what might happen.

It’s in my power to keep showing up.

Part me of plays the “what if” game of:

“Well, it’s kind of silly to write to an empty void.

You should really care about attracting engaged readers.

That’s the main point.

You’re not proving anything (or learning anything useful) by continuing this mission.

It would be far more interesting if you would methodically test different approaches to discover what resonates with people most.”

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But:

1) I’m learning about myself and what I’m willing to do.

I quit social media. I don’t miss it.

I’ve still been showing up here in a public way writing to anyone who subscribes, but I’m learning that I actually don’t know that I crave having a platform as much as I thought I might.

Unless it comes naturally to you and/or you’re lucky, it can require a ton of work. You’d better enjoy it.

2) Perhaps stubbornness effectively applied (a.k.a. determination, commitment) is a worthy enough habit.

For example, when I had trouble starting a fitness routine, I told myself:

7 days a week, I’ll do at least one push-up and at least 1 pull-up.

(It’s the “floss at least one tooth” strategy.)

That’s such a small commitment that I’d find it difficult to weasel out of.

It worked!

I got into a rhythm.

Recently, I was able to do 94 pull-ups in 21 minutes. 🎉

For some reason, streaks work for me.

So I’m willing to keep trying this 2-times-a-week streak that I have going with writing these newsletter issues.

It’s not as easy as flossing just 1 tooth, but as long as I’m not committing to certain outcomes, I bet I can follow through with my effort.

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A meditation habit can lead to better sleep, better decision-making, better relationships, etc. But arguably the point of meditation isn’t to achieve those outcomes. And it certainly isn’t for whatever is happening during your sits.

If there’s a goal at all, it’s to wake up, let go, pay attention. Throughout your entire day. The sessions are just practice.

Perhaps this newsletter habit is like that.

The writing of the newsletter isn’t what counts.

Your reading of the newsletter isn’t what counts.

Maybe what matters most is what kind of person I’ll be in the rest of the non-writing hours of my week.

There’s something to be said for giving yourself permission to continue with something unconditionally and open-mindedly.

And if you stay tuned, you’ll discover with me how it goes!

P.S. I do have some happy updates that I’ll probably share soon. :-)

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🕙 What we learned in recent posts:

🟢 What happens after enlightenment

🟢 Christmas morning vs evening (my least popular post ever)

🟢 5 whys vs 0 whys

🟢 The Misunderstood but Powerful Tool: Comparative Advantage (with free calculator)

🟢 [See all posts]

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crazy hair after a fun summer day in the sun with my little nieces and nephews ☀️