🟢 Most I ever cried in public
Have you felt any of this?
(5 min read)
Don’t miss the exciting announcement at the bottom 😁
I’m tired of the hustle culture.
I never learned to savor anything.
I’m now 40.
Looking back on my life.
Always striving.
Getting onto the “gold” travel soccer team in elementary school.
Stressing out about school work my whole life, always getting straight As.
People called me “homework boy.”
Getting into Princeton.
Getting into a top hedge fund job.
Helping to build startups and get them acquired.
Running my own business.
Where did this drive come from?
Brainwashing.
Our culture keeps you wanting and striving.
Addicted.
Operating thoughtlessly.
Rushing.
Feeling like “there is not enough time”.
Exhausted.
Wishing you could sleep in longer. Not excited about what you need to do today.
Capitalism has programmed us.
It’s based on lack.
It needs to convince you that there is not enough time, not enough money, care, love, attention, peace, connection.
Fear is the tool.
Maybe you dream of slowing down and enjoying yourself.
Doubt creeps in.
“But how will I ______?!”
That’s something you never would have worried (if not for the propaganda).
That concern is an illusion.
What is this incessant need to grow at all costs?
“If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”
🤔 I don’t know about that!
My cat is not growing, and she is a role model.
I love how much she loves her life.
How much she expects and allows adoration.
Her life is full of play and rest.
Sometimes she hunts for fun.
If we didn’t feed her, she’d feed herself while playing.
She doesn’t worry.
How much does schooling stifle kids’ voices and creativity and curiosity.
It replaces imagination with standardized learning and testing.
Demands that they eat and relieve themselves on a schedule instead of listening to their bodies.
We have been indoctrinated from birth.
Grind culture is not outside of us.
We are perpetuating it.
How many times have you seen people praised for waking up early or working through the night?
Maybe you have even patted yourself on the back.
“You’re so productive.”
But that’s not where your worth comes from.
Someone who is slow or savors is not worthless.
Have you been a manager of anyone else?
Have you perpetuated the manipulation?
It felt like you didn’t have a choice.
It seems like we’re becoming more machine-like and less human.
🙌 Do you want to get featured in a future issue? Let me know.
Everyone tells you to get a second job or a third job or side hustle.
They claim that if you don’t have what you want, it’s because you haven’t worked hard enough. That working harder is the answer.
Your inner being knows that this is not true.
Competition. Pushing, pushing pushing.
Urgency.
Constant demands on your attention.
Notice when you sigh.
What do you say when you vent?
Notice what you wish you could say if there were never any retaliation from anyone else.
What is your inner being saying?
How can you go through life more softly.
How can you be more carefree.
How can you go make more friends and enjoy their company.
Can you close your eyes for 30 mins a day?
What about 10 mins?
What number feels acceptable to you?
Why is it not higher?
Seriously.
We hear people say all the time:
“Oh, it would be nice if I could meditate or take a nap occasionally. But I never have time.”
Really?
Ask yourself “why not” until you get to the real answer.
How could it possibly be the case that you are so overloaded and strung-out that you can’t take a breather?
Do you accept the structures within which you’re living?
I’ve been thinking too much about the future and not enjoying the present enough.
I obsess about the exponential pace of technology.
AI and robotics will support us.
Eventually all labor will be optional.
It already could be, even without more technology, if our society operated differently.
There is more than enough for everyone.
But our thinking holds us back.
We have limiting beliefs.
We’ve grown up in a toxic productivity culture.
We tie self-worth to busywork.
Maybe technology won’t solve the entire world’s basic needs within the next decade.
Will 250 years be enough time?
Absolutely.
So why doesn’t the government add a new holiday every year for the next 250 years?
A quarter millennium is a long fucking time.
Why is this a far-fetched idea?
Why burn ourselves out?
Why not collectively move towards the lives we want?
But it won’t happen.
So focus within your sphere of influence.
Take time enjoying your food and drink. Really taste them. Slowly.
Appreciate extra long showers.
Slow mornings.
Naps.
Walks in nature.
You face infinite pressures in this world to always create, always produce for someone else.
Your default instead should be to rest. Savor.
Create for yourself when you feel like it. Create for others when inspired.
The world will tell you the opposite.
You will get no support in knowing that this is how it should be.
You have to discover this truth from within.
The concepts of laziness and “wasted time” are constructs that keep you bound.
What if you could sleep for days without anybody calling you lazy? (And without secretly worrying whether you were.)
By the way, rest is generative. You are better able to access your whole self and connect with others more fully.
But don’t rest as a means to do more work for someone else.
Be suspicious about what the world expects and demands of you.
Listen closely to what your inner being wants to explore and express.
Imagine not having to prove yourself.
Imagine truly knowing that you’ve already done enough.
Designers of social media invented the infinite scroll so that you never finish. There is always more to do.
Are you sure you want to support this conditioning?
How disappointing when some humans try to manipulate others into addictions.
Don’t let them succeed.
In 2015, I attended an event.
A man spoke into the microphone at the center of the stage as a guitarist played background music off in the corner.
The lights were dim.
Hundreds of people stood listening to the speaker share stories about people going through hard times.
Needing help from others.
Needing to believe in themselves.
Then he said:
If you’re going through a difficult time right now, if this is a time of suffering for you and you can define that, you don’t have to measure it with anybody else’s suffering.
If this is a hard time, here’s what I want you to do.
And it’s real simple.
I want you to do nothing.
I just want you, if you’re going through a hard time, to just quietly sit down.
Take the weight off your feet for a moment.
Would you do that?
It’s hard right now.
Take the weight off your feet.
Sit down if that’s true.
Thank you.
I started bawling my eyes out.
I don’t remember what I was feeling so stressed about.
But his message struck a chord. Big time.
Maybe someday we’ll upload ourselves to the cloud and will abandon physical human bodies.
But since that that hasn’t happened…
We need to remember our bodies.
We need to listen to ourselves.
There will be some times that are hard.
But most of our hours should have more joy.
We need to slow down. Savor. Rest. Play.
Life is not about work.
“Productivity should not look like exhaustion.
The concept of laziness is a tool of the oppressor.
A large part of your unraveling from capitalism will include becoming less attached to the idea of productivity and more committed to the idea of rest as a portal to just be.
Your early understanding of ‘productivity’ is most likely tainted by the toxic socialization we all received growing up.
It must be examined.
[...]
Go slow and realize you have been brainwashed by a system that attaches your inherent worth to how much you can labor and produce.
Grind culture is violence.
Resist participating in it.”
- Tricia Hersey
🕙 What we learned in recent posts:
🟢 $28,600 per hour from his porch
🟢 From life-altering injury to business opportunity
🟢 3 reasons to choose fulfillment instead of money (and eventually have both)
👀 Caught my eye this week:
Who Has the Secret to Well-Being? The Answer May Surprise You.
Toddlers — full of energy, curiosity and laughter — have a lot to teach adults, experts say.
You don’t need to click into the New York Times article (paywalled, but your library probably gives you a digital access code) because the main points are here:
“A term I dislike very much is ‘terrible twos,’” Dr. Merali told me. “Or ‘three-nagers.’ Can you imagine if we labeled another age group like this?”
Yes, he said, toddlers have tantrums, but research suggests that they occur, on average, once a day, and last three minutes.
The rest of the time, Dr. Merali said, toddlers are models of well-being. He shared a few good habits, common among the under-5 crowd, that can improve your mental and physical health.
Try positive self-talk.
(See this popular clip from a 4-year-old snowboarder)
Take any opportunity to move.
(Two-year-olds are active for almost five hours a day)
Ask questions.
Fix your sleep schedule.
Look for opportunities to laugh.
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Should I continue writing them?
To vote “Yes”, click the ❤️ button. I haven’t been getting much feedback and don’t know whether these resonate.
📣 Special shout-outs to:
, which has been an inspiration. And , whose recent posts about sabbaticals look interesting.Wealth From Words (free)
⭐ Exciting announcement about my copywriting course at https://WealthFromWords.com
Thank you for the shout out Ryan! I relate to so much of what you wrote here. I also think it's interesting that animals like cats are happy and can just enjoy their life as is.
I’m tired of it too Ryan. And I agree with what you say RE labour being optional in the future. We’ll probably look back on the 5 day 40 hour workweek (which is really more like 50-60) one day as the Industrial Revolution looked back on slavery.