Is it you or them?
The key to getting what you want
(1 min read)
If you’re having trouble:
making friends
attracting opportunities
getting recognized for your efforts
Then in a sense you’re having relationship issues.
It’s not because you need to try harder.
Understand that it’s not about you.
You may feel like the center of your universe (you are!).
But everyone else is at the center of theirs.
Their hands are full.
Their calendars are full.
Their mindspace is full.
People are too busy with their own lives to pay attention to yours.
And that’s okay.
But what if you really want to connect with others?
What can you do if the world hasn't embraced you warmly with open arms?
Don’t worry. Don’t be discouraged.
There are 8.2 billion people in the world.
The scale you’re involved with is much more relatable.
You’re not looking to link up with billions.
Probably just dozens.
Or maybe even just 1.
The right relationships will completely transform your life.
Enormous, growing population = strong, increasing likelihood that you sync with extraordinary people.Focus not on yourself but on them.
Be others-centered instead of self-centered.
Give.
Imagine them achieving their dreams.
Or finding relief from their suffering.
Maybe there are ways you can help!
Without asking anything in return.1
Make it a habit.
Be like a tree that just offers its fruits because that’s what you do.
If you don’t care about someone’s dreams or pains, do you really care about them?
People make room in their lives for those who care.
In fact, caring is what matters most.
It’s likely that every single person you meet already has not just their basic needs met but plenty of luxuries too.
They don’t need more stuff.
They want to feel heard.
They want to feel understood.
They want to feel like they matter.
Accept the paradox:
The way to get what you want is to care most about helping others feel what they want.
The better you are at helping others, the less you'll find yourself ever feeling like you need to ask for help.
🕙 Recent posts:
🟢 I'll take little kids over pro athletes every time
🟢 Why my therapist’s smile surprised me
🟢 if ___, you’re wasting your time
👀 Caught my eye this week:
Someone sent me this post by Ralph Ammer.
Wow. 😮🤩
Go check out his amazing drawings and post!
Aristotle — How to live a good life
🗨️ Quote of the day
If you believe you are not enough, your world will validate that belief (in terms of money and everything else).
If you believe that you are more than enough, that’s what you’ll attract.
- T. Harv Eker
Even anonymously. You don’t need credit. You’re not looking for transactional relationships. You’ll get from the universe more than you give. And it won’t matter where it comes from.